I am an Anglophile stuck in America. I cope through Doctor Who cosplay(River specifically). I also cosplay other things british like Being Human and Misfits. Enjoy!
I have been sick literally almost the entire month of October. This is awful. The coughing I can’t do this much longer I will just need to be put in the hospital and knocked out so I can get better. I am going to see the video showing of Alex Kingston in the Scottish play though dammit. That is happening tonight.
And so the hour draws nearer now, when we see our Doctor regenerate and change once again. I have seen his face change before and felt that twinge of pain like a death though it is not. And i loved the new face very soon, the new man yet always the same, and forget that pain. But yesterday it felt like a terminal diagnosis and I know the cracks of my heart are opening up. In this moment I have to admit that Eleven, that Matt is my Doctor. He always will be and nothing will be the same now. I have to accept this and accept the pain that will come with his regeneration. As I watched my husband leave the house today, dressed as the Doctor for a community event, my heart felt melancholy as I kissed him goodbye. And now the tears begin as I reflect on this. He looks so much like Matt and with cosplaying River, our lives have become intertwined with this Doctor and his wife. I learned from River how to love a man who is so much like the Doctor. I learned strength. For four years we have developed a family around this team TARDIS. But now that will fade though the friendships will not. We watched and held tight to our Ponds as they watched them leave. Now we know their emotions. We will have nothing new to look forward to. The TARDIS will change again someday and we’ll be as those before us, holding on to the memories. The day will come when our TARDIS we built sits in her trailer much too long. It is the end of a part of our lives. We will move forward to the next year for new adventures. But one day maybe our future son will put on a bow tie or even the Rory jacket I have and it will start again. Our future daughter will say she wants to be Clara and it all will be new again. Maybe they will fall in love with a future Doctor. And we’ll guide them and comfort them when their Doctor also regenerates. It will keep going on. It is a reflection of life. We are born, live and die. Everything and everyone dies. Doctor Who perhaps prepares us all for that more than any show. The lump in my throat right now tells me that it is a good work and the good work will continue. Its the living that matters. This Doctor has given us that and we’ll carry that until the end. Thank you to Steven Moffat, Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Arthur Darvil and (for me most of all) Alex Kingston. Thank you all who believe in this show.
So apparently friend who met me the night I met Alex Kingston said it was like meeting a different person the second time we hung out…I literally was a different person who was unable to put words together well and was nervous…sigh. I am sorry Alex. I promise I can be cool…despite having a massive girl crush on you.
Bless the person who had Alex change into so many different dresses for the Doctor Who symphonic spectacular. That woman wears the same three dresses to everything. Not that I love her less for that. But it’s nice to see her in something different.